SPOILER ALERT

Posted in Mistress Business on February 1, 2010 by Julianne

WARNING to all visiting the Mistress’s Domain:

I feel it is my obligation to inform you that I don’t like writing reviews without spoilers.  I want to talk about what I thought of the movie/book/TV show, including what I thought of certain scenes and, often, the ending.  If you haven’t seen or read whatever I’m talking about and you don’t want to know, don’t read my review yet – wait until after you’ve viewed the film yourself, then come back and read/comment/snark along with me.   I’m not going to stop and say “OMGSPOILERZZ” every five seconds to remind you.  I just feel like I can’t adequately describe films if I’m censoring myself to not tell you that the dumb bitch ran up the stairs instead of calling 911 and thus died in a brutal, bloody way.  So…please, read on, but do so at your own risk.

Love,
The Mistress

Zombies are Scarier than the Government (Review of the Crazies [2010])

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on March 18, 2010 by Julianne

I don’t exactly hide the fact that I’m not the biggest fan of remakes.  It’s mostly a personal thing.  I say “mostly” because it does disappoint me that, especially in the realm of horror films, filmmakers today (or the studios feeding them money) seem unable or unwilling to try to come up with original and exciting directions to take the genre.  Considering that horror is SO incredibly grounded in the sociocultural fears of not only a certain culture but a certain time, it often upsets me that people are choosing to remake films that have much less relevance today than to find current social scare points and exploit those to the fullest.  But, on the personal side of things, it’s rare I like a remake better.  They’re usually not as good and I find myself just wanting to watch the original…so there :P Continue reading

The Government is Scarier than Zombies (Review of “The Crazies” [1973 version])

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on March 12, 2010 by Julianne

Let me start this off by saying I love George A. Romero…love him.  Is he ridiculously over the top?  Yes.  Should someone perhaps print out a definition of the word “subtlety” and tape it over his desk? Probably.  Can anyone really be that insanely explicit and ham handed and still make me love every minute of it? Not really.  He’s just awesome to me.  Night of the Living Dead is brilliant and classic (if anyone else, like me, had the misfortune of one time grabbing a copy where he did those bizarro added scenes years later, please ignore those scenes and find yourself a copy of the *actual* original movie).  Dawn of the Dead is hysterical and creepy and delicious.  Oft overlooked, and even by me in this instance, is 1973′s The Crazies, which, contrary to popular belief, is NOT a zombie film. Continue reading

Mini-Rant: Horror and the Oscars

Posted in Random Rants with tags , , , , , on March 8, 2010 by Julianne

Before I get underway on this mini-rant, let me make something perfectly clear.  Twilight is NOT, I repeat NOT a horror film.  I’m frankly not convinced that Edward is in fact a vampire and not just suffering from the disease called “horrible-douchy-emoism”.  Regardless, when people sparkle in a movie and nothing actually scary happens, it is absolutely NOT a horror film. Continue reading

Kruegermort, the Return

Posted in Reviews, Upcoming Films with tags , , , , on March 2, 2010 by Julianne

New Line has decided, only a few short weeks before the new A Nightmare on  Elm Street hits the big screen, to post a longer, more comprehensive trailer to those of us anxiously waiting  for the film’s release.  Yes, I am one of those who really cannot wait for this film to come out.  I’ll admit that I was super skeptical about the film after the first trailer.  I’ll admit that I’m frankly STILL super skeptical about the film after the second trailer…but now I’m also, beyond a doubt, super excited. Continue reading

Psychopaths and Super Powers Don’t Mix (Review of Thirst)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , , on February 23, 2010 by Julianne

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to keeping up with foreign films, I’m terrible at it.  Every once in a while, though, a film will come to my attention, either by popularity within the horror community or because it’s a director I’ve seen and loved and I just have to see their new film.  Thirst falls into the later category.  Well…and sort of into the former – really, was I supposed to resist a Korean vampire flick about a priest?  Come on. Continue reading

Ghosts+Psychosis=BFFL (Review of The Innocents)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , on February 18, 2010 by Julianne

Someone asked me the other day what separates horror and thriller.  It’s hard to say, really.  The line is super blurry and, honestly, I think it’s just something each individual has to feel.  I would say, on a whole, the thrillers are almost never supernaturally based (horrors can be both natural and supernatural) and that the point of a horror is to produce a feeling of horror, terror, fear, disgust, etc. whereas the point of a thriller is to present and interesting, if somewhat frightening/pulse quickening, dramatic scenario.  I suppose you could possibly say that horror is a more visceral genre and thrillers are a more cerebral genre.  But, again, that’s all in the eye of the beholder.  A film I find just interesting and dramatic another might find absolutely terrifying.  Continue reading

Murder isn’t pretty, but Suspiria is (Review of Suspiria)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , on February 18, 2010 by Julianne

First off, I apologize for my long absence.  I have in no way, shape, or form given up on horror reviewing, watching and snarking.  I just had to do some “life” things first – like have guests stay over…guests who don’t love horror the way I do…and who perhaps might not have appreciated my house being super dirty.  Anyway, I’m back and hopefully will not be interrupted for some time now.  Anyway, I digress.  As interesting as my personal life is, I will get on to what we’re all really here for: a review of the 1977 classic horror, Suspiria.

Continue reading

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