Archive for December, 2009

101 Reasons Why Deep Sea Drilling is a Bad Move (aka Cloverfield: the Rewatch Review)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , on December 9, 2009 by Julianne

If you don’t understand what this title has to do with Cloverfield, shame on you.  J.J. Abrams spent ridiculous amounts of time on viral marketing campaigns and ridiculously convoluted back stories that never make it into the movie; the least you could do is google “Slusho”. Continue reading

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Terrifying TV

Posted in Reviews with tags , , on December 4, 2009 by Julianne

And now a break from our regularly scheduled movie reviews, TELEVISION REVIEWS (thanks to one of my loyal fans for saying I should write some about the somewhat horrorish elements that grace our TV sets :D) Ok, ok, so…television? Not so much the biggest venue for horror.  Once in a while, a decent horror miniseries will come along.  In the past, a few shows such as Tales from the Crypt and Are You Afraid of the Dark? (dude, the clown from that show’s intro still freaks the fuck out of me) are allowed to air.  Once in a while a show like Scare Tactics will show up and be one of the meanest things on television.  Mostly, though, horror on television is limited to shows that are sort of sci-fi-ish and have some pretty dark, disturbing undertones to them – basically, shows that have horror elements to them.  Unfortunately, today, not many of those exist.  I’m sorry, I refuse to include any crime drama within that category (ok, exception – I haven’t seen Dexter.  I know I’ve heard it’s awesome, but I’ve yet to watch it…so…I won’t comment on that); bloody CSI investigations =/= Horror.  Which leaves us, in my opinion, with really two shows left on TV that even slightly can satisfy a horror lover’s craving for some good spine chilling. Continue reading

Mini-Rant: VAMPIRES

Posted in Random Rants with tags , on December 4, 2009 by Julianne

I love vampires.  Love them.  Think they are one of the cooler horror monsters. I love the idea of their origins – the whole twisted interplay of sexuality and fluids exchanging.  I love their ambiguity – and yes, I do think they are often remarkably ambiguous characters.  Sure, there are purely evil vampires. However, many seem to just want to exist.  Their existence, unfortunately, consists of them having to consume human blood which makes their relationship with humans, by its very nature, a bit antagonistic.  But, other than that, they’re not out there to kill everyone in sight.  I like when villains and monsters are so clear-cut.  It makes life interesting.  They’re these amazing liminal characters that can fit into so many allegories and walks of life and…just…great great stories. Continue reading

The Smell of Beer, Sex, and Rotting Flesh (Review of Zombie Strippers)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on December 4, 2009 by Julianne

When people are upset about something bad happening in their lives, some eat, some fast, some go out with friends, some curl up into a ball and cry.  I rent amazingly bad horror movies.  I’m not talking about terrible horror movies, like, say, the remake of Halloween or Alien vs. Predator (or God forbid whatever the hell the SEQUEL to Alien vs. Predator was).  I’m talking about a movie that can trace its origins back to Dead Alive, Evil Dead, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, etc.  They make me happy.  The ridiculousness, the gore, the campy lines, the campy delivery of them…it all just makes me very very happy.  So, I should note that when I watched Zombie Strippers, something very bad had happened in my life and Zombie Strippers made me (at least temporarily) happy – which means it added some to my love of this movie. Continue reading