Archive for the Upcoming Films Category

Kruegermort, the Return

Posted in Reviews, Upcoming Films with tags , , , , on March 2, 2010 by Julianne

New Line has decided, only a few short weeks before the new A Nightmare on  Elm Street hits the big screen, to post a longer, more comprehensive trailer to those of us anxiously waiting  for the film’s release.  Yes, I am one of those who really cannot wait for this film to come out.  I’ll admit that I was super skeptical about the film after the first trailer.  I’ll admit that I’m frankly STILL super skeptical about the film after the second trailer…but now I’m also, beyond a doubt, super excited. Continue reading


The Week in Previews 1/21/10…or just Legion…

Posted in Upcoming Films with tags , , , on January 21, 2010 by Julianne

So…this morning did not start as expected.  It is raining in Los Angeles which I HATE because no one can drive in the rain in this city, my throat hurts, and I mistakenly left a bottle of champagne in the freezer overnight, which exploded and has left said freezer smelling oh so slightly of Andre.  I had every intention of editing and publishing two reviews waiting in the wings of truly terrible horror films.  Then I saw this and I had to share because it is very rare that something makes me laugh out loud in my office. Continue reading

The Week in Previews – 11/23/2009

Posted in Upcoming Films with tags , , on November 23, 2009 by Julianne

Before I begin in on this round of previews, I would like to heartily apologize for having been MIA of late.  Unfortunately, there are two problems with being a mistress.  1) It’s not my entire life.  Sometimes real life stuff gets in the way of my wonderful world of horror consumption.  A whole effing bomb of real life exploded this month.  2) Being the Mistress of Horror is not actually a full-time job.  Shocking, I know.  While I would gladly accept a competitive salary to do this full-time (if anyone wants to offer), in the meantime, I must make money to subsidize my horror habits.  Sometimes, that money-making job takes up a fair bit of time.  All that being said, I will try not to be so remiss in the future and will carry on with your regularly scheduled horror snarking. Continue reading

The Week in Previews – 11/02/09

Posted in Upcoming Films with tags , , , , , on November 2, 2009 by Julianne

So, given that the Mistress actually has to have a job (lame, I know) sometimes watching tons of horror all the time doesn’t work out.  However, luckily, God created these beautiful little things called previews.  Basically, they’re 2 minute movies that we can watch and then instantly judge what the real 120 minute movie will be like.  Brilliant.  It’s like watching a real movie except quicker and possible to do on lunch break. Continue reading


Posted in Upcoming Films with tags , , , , , on October 16, 2009 by Julianne

When will Hollywood ever learn?  When it comes to remaking movies, especially classic or iconic horror films, you just shouldn’t do it.  You can’t outdo something that made a subgenre what it is or defined the scares for a generation.  It’s just not going to work.  The reasons why are endless: Continue reading