Archive for Spoilers

The Government is Scarier than Zombies (Review of “The Crazies” [1973 version])

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on March 12, 2010 by Julianne

Let me start this off by saying I love George A. Romero…love him.  Is he ridiculously over the top?  Yes.  Should someone perhaps print out a definition of the word “subtlety” and tape it over his desk? Probably.  Can anyone really be that insanely explicit and ham handed and still make me love every minute of it? Not really.  He’s just awesome to me.  Night of the Living Dead is brilliant and classic (if anyone else, like me, had the misfortune of one time grabbing a copy where he did those bizarro added scenes years later, please ignore those scenes and find yourself a copy of the *actual* original movie).  Dawn of the Dead is hysterical and creepy and delicious.  Oft overlooked, and even by me in this instance, is 1973’s The Crazies, which, contrary to popular belief, is NOT a zombie film. Continue reading

Apathy and Sharp Objects (Review of The Strangers)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on February 1, 2010 by Julianne

I had absolutely no desire to see The Strangers when it came out.  None.  First off, not the biggest Scott Speedman or Liv Tyler fan.

Herrreeee's Masky

Second, it looked like it would be some crappy gore film à la Hostel.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m not totally anti-gore but I hate gore films that have no purpose and that seem to think disgustingly bloody=horror.  The Strangers looked like just that.  But a friend of mine watched it recently and told me I should see it; she thought it was one of the scarier movies she’d seen in a long time.  Given that this isn’t a friend who screams at the word “boo”, I thought it was worth checking out (especially when I saw it in Redbox…gotta love movies for a dollar). Continue reading

When Good God goes Bad (Review of Legion)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on January 25, 2010 by Julianne

As promised, I dedicated two hours of my life this weekend to seeing Legion. Let me first say this: it’s not good.  However, if you’re craving an in theatre horror film in the next week or so and it’s between Legion or Daybreakers, see Legion.  It’s probably technically the worse of the two films but given the humorous lines in it (both intentional and unintentional) and the fact that I absolutely LOVE Dennis Quaid, possibly more than is natural, I just much more enjoyed the viewing experience of Legion.  In fact, I sort of liked it in that “wow this is awful and kind of makes my brain go ow” sort of way.  Continue reading

This Movie Sucks (Review of Daybreakers)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on January 21, 2010 by Julianne

Get it?  Vampires?  Sucks?  Ok, so my boyfriend came up with that one.  It made me laugh.  I’m corny.  Get over it.  This movie does suck though.  If you will recall, I did a preview review of Daybreakers a while back.  I was puzzled.  On the one hand, yay vampires that are not emo and sparkly and yay awesome cast.  On the other hand, boo weird human harvest matrix theme and boo odd bat-Nosferatu vampires.  As the release of the film grew closer, I got kind of excited.  I’m not exactly sure why, but I had a good feeling.  Not a good “Oh wow, this will be a new legendary horror film” feeling but a good “I think I may enjoy this” feeling. Continue reading

A Psychadelic Vacation to the Emerald Isle (Review of Shrooms)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on January 21, 2010 by Julianne

I am a very strong believer that horror is one of those genres crucially affected by viewing environment.  Seeing a good bad horror in a theatre is often key; the audience laughing with you at the ridiculousness just makes the whole thing worthwhile as opposed to just sort of sad.  Watching horror films alone on a rainy night can always make them seem scarier.  Watching horror films with fellow horror fans can lead to an overdose of horror cynicism.  Given that, I decided, against my better judgement, to give another chance to Shrooms.  I saw Shrooms at the 2007 Irish Film Institute’s Horrorthon as the surprise film.  Half of the audience, having already seen the movie, either booed, yelled at the screen, or even walked out.  The rest gladly joined in the jeering.  Given that atmosphere, I thought, “maybe I should give the movie another shot, on my own.  Maybe I’ll change my mind.”

Continue reading

Terrifying TV

Posted in Reviews with tags , , on December 4, 2009 by Julianne

And now a break from our regularly scheduled movie reviews, TELEVISION REVIEWS (thanks to one of my loyal fans for saying I should write some about the somewhat horrorish elements that grace our TV sets :D) Ok, ok, so…television? Not so much the biggest venue for horror.  Once in a while, a decent horror miniseries will come along.  In the past, a few shows such as Tales from the Crypt and Are You Afraid of the Dark? (dude, the clown from that show’s intro still freaks the fuck out of me) are allowed to air.  Once in a while a show like Scare Tactics will show up and be one of the meanest things on television.  Mostly, though, horror on television is limited to shows that are sort of sci-fi-ish and have some pretty dark, disturbing undertones to them – basically, shows that have horror elements to them.  Unfortunately, today, not many of those exist.  I’m sorry, I refuse to include any crime drama within that category (ok, exception – I haven’t seen Dexter.  I know I’ve heard it’s awesome, but I’ve yet to watch it…so…I won’t comment on that); bloody CSI investigations =/= Horror.  Which leaves us, in my opinion, with really two shows left on TV that even slightly can satisfy a horror lover’s craving for some good spine chilling. Continue reading

The Smell of Beer, Sex, and Rotting Flesh (Review of Zombie Strippers)

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on December 4, 2009 by Julianne

When people are upset about something bad happening in their lives, some eat, some fast, some go out with friends, some curl up into a ball and cry.  I rent amazingly bad horror movies.  I’m not talking about terrible horror movies, like, say, the remake of Halloween or Alien vs. Predator (or God forbid whatever the hell the SEQUEL to Alien vs. Predator was).  I’m talking about a movie that can trace its origins back to Dead Alive, Evil Dead, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, etc.  They make me happy.  The ridiculousness, the gore, the campy lines, the campy delivery of them…it all just makes me very very happy.  So, I should note that when I watched Zombie Strippers, something very bad had happened in my life and Zombie Strippers made me (at least temporarily) happy – which means it added some to my love of this movie. Continue reading